


Birds

by scar-and-boomerang (Y_Woo)



Series: ATLA Daemons AU [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Coming of Age, Daemon Separation, Daemon Settling, Daemons, Fire Nation, Fire Palace, Gen, Non Consensual Daemon Touching, Zuko Angst, Zuko Azula Interaction, Zuko Ursa Bonding, Zuko centric - Freeform, daemons AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-27 02:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20941019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Y_Woo/pseuds/scar-and-boomerang
Summary: "She told him, instead, of how his daemon had shifted the earliest in the generations of Fire Nation royalty of whom records existed, and how his first shift had been a mighty and strong jaguar cub. In the years that came, every time Azula bested him in training, or Ihnatzius had Hikari’s bright feathered chest pinned to the ground, Zuko held this knowledge to his heart. This was a pride Azula can never take from him."An exploration of the Avatar-verse where all the people are born with a soul-animal companion know as a "daemon", as in the style of Lyra's universe in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials. Zuko centric and follows his coming of age story in the events leading up to and slightly after his banishment. Canon compliant. Contains NO His Dark Materials spoilers, all knowledge you need to understand the story will be provided.





	1. Two Hearts, One Valve

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any ATLA characters or storylines, or the concepts and world building done by Philip Pullman. All daemon character names and characterisation are my own. Title of story, chapters, and quotes are taken from the lyrics of 'Birds' by Imagine Dragons, I do not own that either.

* * *

Two hearts, one valve,  
Pumping the blood, we were the flood  
We were the body.  
Two lives, one life,  
Sticking it out, letting you down,  
Making it right.

* * *

Even before she settled, Hikari’s form has always been a source of conflict between Zuko and his daemon for as long as he could remember. Azula’s daemon has never given her any problems. Ihnatzius had been a kitten when she was born, and rarely changed from the dark tabby cat with the piercing, calculated gaze in her youth. As she grew out of her toddler years and took to firebending with ease, her daemon, too, began experimenting on his own, shifting into a lynx or caracal or an ocelot on the side of the training court, gazing at his human as she mastered kata after kata, leaving her older brother behind in the dust.

Ursa told Zuko that his own Hikari had been a little duckling in the first few days of his premature birth, perched on the edge of the pillow as Zuko’s tiny chest drew breath after breath, or settling down on the head of Ursa’s cheetah for warmth as she cradled her son and prayed to Agni to fuel his life force.

She did not tell him how Ozai peered down at the bird, pursed his lips and sneered at her black beak and grey hatchling feathers, and declared that no _firebender_ would have that…_creature_ as their daemon, and ordered his own son to be disposed of. Ursa protested violently and the fire sages explained how there were no evidence that a daemon’s form at birth is in any way linked to their human’s aptitude or success in later life, but it wasn’t until two weeks in, when finally Zuko’s breath no longer hitched and stopped at random intervals, and Hikari shifted for the first time, that Ozai had looked down upon the explosion of black spots across her soft golden fur and nodded in approval.

She told him, instead, of how his daemon had shifted the earliest in the generations of Fire Nation royalty of whom records existed, and how his first shift had been a mighty and strong jaguar cub. In the years that came, every time Azula bested him in training, or Ihnatzius had Hikari’s bright feathered chest pinned to the ground, Zuko held this knowledge to his heart. This was a pride Azula can never take from him.

As much as Zuko tried to keep his daemon in a form appropriate to a Fire Nation prince as he grew up, and despite her early head-start Hikari had always had immense trouble being a large cat. They compromised in that whenever they were in Ozai’s presence, Hikari would carefully shift into a leopard to match his father's. In private, she was left to be what her heart desired that day. Despite their greatest combined effort, however, they would often find that a raised voice from Ozai, or a sudden prance of his Thera would send Hikari leaping into the air and shifting into just about any bird possible in a burst of feathers, much to Ozai’s disdain and Zuko’s mortification.

“It’s not my fault,” Hikari would later chirp with the defiant tone she only dared use on her own human, settling as a bright green woodpecker on the windowsill he was leaning his back against, “You’re the one who’s always on edge around him, it makes me _flighty_.”

“Maybe if you gave me enough reason to trust you not to embarrass us, I wouldn’t be so on edge!” Zuko shot back hotly, the humour of Hikari’s wordplay lost completely on him.

“Perhaps next time if we tried a cat form like Ihnatzius I would have less trouble holding it.” Knowing the wound of that morning’s most recent embarrassment was still burnt fresh in Zuko’s mind and that arguing now was pointless, she offered instead.

“No.” Came the adamant reply, “Azula may be content being a subordinate to father, I need to show him I can be as good as him, and uphold his name in honour.” Zuko decided with as much adamance in his voice as a nine year old could manage. Turning to address his daemon, he steeled his face and matched his voice to the way he heard his father talk to palace servants, “you _will_ be a leopard the next time I’m summoned before him, and you _will_ hold the form for as long as we are in his presence.”

He stood up as if to leave, then turned around once again.

“Are you coming? And change out of that ridiculous form! What if someone sees you like this?”

Sighing, Hikari took flight into the air and shifted into a small rusty-spotted cat upon landing at her human’s heels, and followed him out of the door.

* * *

“What do you _want_, Ihnatzius?” Zuko asked irritably as his sister’s daemon, a dark brown tabby again today, approached him and Hikari by the pond.

Azula was nowhere to be seen. Over the past couple months she had become increasingly obsessed with training herself to be more separated from her daemon. Often times in the morning when the sun has barely risen, Zuko would find his sister sat cross legged in the courtyard meditating - eyes closed and biting into her own lips, no doubt trying to drown out the sensation of pulling, as Ihnatzius stood a few metres away, tails stiff, fighting every step away from her. 

Once, after he’d caught her practising for the first time and demanded to know what she was doing, Zuko had coaxed Hikari into giving it a shot in the privacy of their own bedroom, both out of curiosity and not wanting to be overshadowed by Azula in yet another field. The pain had been like nothing else. It felt like iron nails scratching against his ribcage and someone twisting his lungs and his heart being pulled out of his oesophagus and he can hear his blood roaring in his ears and _thump thump thumping_ to the rhythm of his daemon’s tiny wings as the scarlet hummingbird fluttered desperately on the other side of the room.

It was Zuko who gave up first, running toward Hikari and plucking her out of the air. They flopped down into the bed together as he stroked her feathers and beak and babbled as tears streamed down his face (_when had he started crying?_) that they’ll never, _never_ be apart again. He doesn’t think he’ll ever go through anything as awful as this. (He will look back on thinking this and chuckle drily at how wrong he was, while running a finger across his scarred face, but that would come later.)

He wondered how on earth Azula does it.

Ursa had been furious when she found out. Pacing back and forth in Azula’s bedroom as the young girl sat indignant on her four poster, throwing her arms up in the air and ranting about how dangerous and reckless it was, the risk of permanent damage and possible death, and tales of children and adults alike, severed from their daemons permanently, eyes glassy and unresponsive, body giving out a few days later. Azula stroked her tabby’s fur idly, shrugged and pointed out that most Fire Nation generals and nobles have trained to be able to do this, to varying levels of success.

“As adults, Azula!” It was Takeo who spoke up this time, surprising the other three in the room. Though addressing the girl directly, their mother’s cheetah was staring sternly at Ihnatzius. “Or late teenagers if they’re pushing it, not as eight year old children who knows no control or boundaries! Spirits, _what were you thinking_?”

When he’d heard about this, Ozai merely informed his daughter that he would be disappointed should she make an irreparable mistake that would bring shame upon the family, with the faint hint of an approving smirk upon his face. Azula took this as permission enough to continue her training, and before long, it wasn’t a rare sight to spot a large striped cat running across the grounds without a human to be seen, almost as if it were a stray.

“Azula invites you guys to come play.” Ihnatzius purred, the hint of youthful mirth that has long vanished from his human’s voice still present in his. “Firebending wrestle.”

“We’re not allowed to firebend without masters present, she knows this.” Hikari spoke up softly from Zuko’s lap.

“Pfft, suit yourselves, pickens.”

“We’re not pickens!” Zuko yelped indignantly, bolting upright and causing the white cat that is Hikari to tumble from his lap. “We’re playing.” He declared, marching to follow the tabby and pointedly ignoring his own daemon’s attempt to tug him back indoors.

Azula stood waiting for them in the courtyard. Her face lit up in a grin that wasn’t fully sincere, but enough so that Zuko couldn’t quite put a finger on what’s so unsettling about it either.

“Hello, Zuzu.” She greeted.

“Heard you wanted to wrestle,” Zuko offered, taking his stance already, “Let’s.”

Azula shrugged, still grinning, and took her place.

Though Azula had mastered more forms than he did, fancier punches took more concentration and time out of her to deliver perfectly. Zuko, not striving for showmanship, sticking to the basic katas and keeping on his feet, found himself not completely at a disadvantage against his sister’s advanced ones just yet. Lately however, he noticed her flames getting hotter and were being conjured faster, and himself beginning to lose matches more often than he won.

Today, however, Agni seemed to shine in his favour. Twenty or so minutes in, Azula’s defence started to drop and opened up opportunities. In a couple rapid successions of punches, Zuko had her pinned to a railing at the edge of the courtyard with a flaming fist raised over her head. He smiled, not maliciously but nevertheless pleased with himself for not being bested by her this time, and was about to quip a joke or two when he felt his throat start to burn.

Reeling around instinctively, the two children saw a flurry of fur and claws in the centre of the courtyard. Hikari, in the commotion and distress had turned into a red squirrel, and was currently being pinned to the ground by Azula’s daemon, squeaking furiously. Ihnatzius was taking the form of an adolescent lynx, whose single paw covered the entirety of Hikari’s torso as he put increasing amount of pressure on the poor squirrel’s chest. Zuko fell to his knees and started wheezing, eyes widening in horror as his daemon’s chirps became less angry and more desperate, and he’s not sure wether or not he was imagining the _laughter_ that came from behind him where his sister stood as his vision dimmed.

A blur of gold sent Hikari scrambling from under the large cat and scurrying into Zuko’s arms once again, bushy tails ruffled and still trembling. On the other side of the courtyard, the lynx dangled awkwardly by the scruff of his neck from the jaws of a cheetah, the former’s adolescent size and struggling made it difficult for the latter to maintain control.

“Azula!” Ursa gasped in sync with Ihnatzius’s loud whine.

“Let me _go_, Takeo!”

With a nod from his human, Takeo dropped the other daemon rudely to the ground. The lynx ran towards his human, with a graceful leap, transforming midair, and settled into her arms in its usual tabby appearance once more.

“I thought we talked about not hurting people, daemon or not, Azula. What do you think you’re doing, young lady?”

“We were just playing, mother.” Azula quipped sweetly, the chilling innocence she put into her voice making Zuko shiver. “Iggy didn’t mean it, did you Iggy?”

In her arms, Ihnatzius licked away at his paws, pointedly ignoring the conversation altogether. Ursa sighed, about to turn away, when Takeo lurched forward abruptly, stopping just short of Azula and let out a low and vicious growl, pulling his lips back to bare his fangs at the young girl.

Zuko had never seen his mother’s daemon so furious before. He felt his sister’s breath hitch beside him and his own heart starting to pound, despite not being targeted by Takeo. Few things have ever shaken his sister to this depth, but the poor girl’s eyes were wide as she clutched Ihnatzius to her chest, peering down at the animal just coming up to her shoulders. In that moment, Zuko thought, Azula resembled her age of eight years for perhaps the first time in a long while.

“_Takeo!_” Ursa exclaimed, no less shocked by her own daemon’s acting out. The spotted cat snapped out of its aggression immediately, and stalked over to his human, still glaring at Azula. Ursa turned to her daughter, “you and I need to talk tonight.” She said tiredly, taking her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behind the Names:  
Zuko's daemon Hikari (hee-ka-ree) is of Japanese origin, meaning "light" or "brightness"  
Azula's daemon Ihnatzius (ee-na-ccius) is of my own creation, from the variation "Ihnat" derived from the name "Ignatius" (hence his nickname "Iggy"), which means "flame" or "fiery one' in latin.  
Ursa's daemon is an Asiatic cheetah, Takeo (ta-kee-o) is a name in Japanese meaning "strength as military"  
Ozai's daemon is a Persian leopard, Thera (thee-rah) means "wild" or "untamed" in greek.
> 
> my thanks to allyn-racki and sof_the_loaf on Tumblr for sticking by and hearing my endless and nonsensical idea vomits and trying to piece a story out of it with me. As soon as I learn how to link stuff on this hellsite I will add their pages immediately :P


	2. Dreams Will Make You Cry

* * *

Seasons, they will change,  
Life will make you grow,  
Dreams will make you cry, cry, cry.  
Everything is temporary  
Everything will slide,  
Love will never die, die, die.

* * *

The only time he could remember Hikari not having trouble holding a cat form was when they were still young enough that the daemon took forms of baby animals of whichever species. In those glorious summer days he would curl up by his mother’s side, on the grassy banks of the turtleduck pond while Hikari, as the world’s happiest cheetah cub, walked all over Takeo, taking his tail between her teeth and pulling playfully under his adoring gaze.

“How come daemons aren’t like the other animals in our world, mum?” Zuko would begin on his never ending myriad of questions in his infantile curiosity, and Ursa would chuckle softly and explain each one with a never ending reserve of patience.

“Our souls, sweetheart, our daemons, are far more connected to the spirit world than normal animals, and by consequence more pure in their fundamental forms, instead of being hybrids.”

Beside her, Takeo nuzzled Hikari softly, pushing her off his back and setting her down on the ground next to him.

“Can you say ‘Zuko', Kari? Say ‘Zuko’.” He coaxed, while Hikari babbled cheerfully beside him. Daemons normally learnt to speak around the same time as their humans do, however Zuko was five by now and able to communicate with as much eloquence as any other child his age, if not more, and Hikari still showed no of communicating verbally. This didn’t bother Zuko, in the rare occasions the two cannot understand each other through the soundless exchange of a glance, their leftover toddler coos and gawks sufficed. His mother’s daemon, however, had decidedly taken on the mission to teach her the proper human language.

“When I grow up,” Zuko declared, looking on at his and his mother’s daemon together, “I want Kari to be a cheetah just like you.”

Ursa smiled gently at this and stayed silent for a while, before speaking up softly.

“It’s too early to think about that just yet, dear. Before she settles, I’d like for you to try all sorts of different forms, and experience the unique beauty each of them brings you, so you may find where your heart truly lies.”

“Did you try many things when you were small?”

“Oh yes, all sorts. Takeo favoured birds, for many male birds are much more colourful than their female counterparts, and he loved to take advantage of that.” She laughed softly. “He especially enjoyed being a swan.”

“A swan.” Zuko mused, “I bet he was very pretty.”

“The prettiest.” Ursa reminisced fondly.

“How come he didn’t settle as one, then?”

“It doesn’t work like that. For some it does, their daemon shifting less and less from their preferred form, until eventually they stopped shifting at all. For others, they’ll wake up one morning being something complete different, and they’ll know it’s happened. It can also be triggered by an event that goes on to define who they are, good or bad. Takeo had never been a cheetah before settling.”

“You mean Kari could be something completely new and we will have no control over it?”

“Perhaps. You won’t know how it will be until it happens.”

Zuko fell silent, chewing his lips with a solemn face, and mulled over his mother’s words. Tenderly, Ursa placed her hand under his chin and lifted his head up to meet her gaze. 

“But know this, dear, whatever form your Kari chooses, I will always be so, _so_ proud of you both.”

* * *

_“Dad’s going to kill you!”_

He’d been having nightmares ever since news of his uncle and cousin had reached the palace. Words of what happened had prompted Azula to pester their tutors about what happened to your daemon when you died and vice versa. Deeming them both old enough, they agreed to impart the information and ever since then, Zuko’s nights had been filled with the tall walls of an Earth Kingdom city he’d never seen, but instead of Lu Ten and his daemon, it had been Hikari who would burst soundlessly into a flare of golden dust, blown away by the wind.

Father had summoned them that day, dressed in their best and lined up in front of the throne room’s gate. When Ozai approached, his leopard Thera at his heels, Ihnatzius instantly shifted into a cougar - powerful, but not overshadowing Thera’s majesty - much to Ozai’s approval. Everyone looked expectantly towards Zuko and Hikari then, even Takeo’s gaze shifted onto them both. But the parakeet remained frozen in her favourite form these days, pressed closely into the neck of her human.

“Get yourself into a more presentable form!” Ozai barked directly at Hikari. At his feet, Thera’s ears twitched in annoyance as she followed his sweeping strides into the throne room.

Azula presented her firebending forms while Ihnatzius followed in sync with her every step, prancing assuredly by her feet and jumping across her jets of flames. She took her seat again, smirk on her face. But it was the way the cougar’s tail brushed against Hikari’s side ever so tauntingly, causing the latter to almost lose her leopard form, that aggravated Zuko.

“I would like to demonstrate what _I’ve_ learnt.” Zuko said before his common sense (which was also known as _Hikari_) could convince him otherwise.

_Just like the masters taught you_, he told himself in a voice that sounded suspiciously like bird chirp as he worked through the kata. _Turn, jump, kick_, then land back on his feet. Expect he didn’t land on his feet. As his knee made contact with the hard wood floor, Hikari lurched at his side. He tried again_. Turn, jump, kick,_ and he landed on his backside this time. Hikari leapt to his aid with a prance and Zuko could only watch in horror as her leopard form shrunk and she took flight as a parakeet once again.

Later, Ursa would assure him that she had loved watching him perform as someone who tries again and again, getting up after each time. Takeo licked and combed Hikari’s green feathers as gently as he could, purring softly. But neither of them could soothe the hurt Zuko had felt when he saw Ozai’s downturned lips in that throne room, or the betrayal Hikari had felt when she could sense Zuko’s anger directed at _her_, when all she did was try her best, just like him.

Caught up in this episode as they ushered themselves out the throne room without Ozai, none of them noticed that Ihnatzius had slipped away from the group and Azula.

“Dad’s going to kill you!” Azula singsonged as she burst into the room later that night, rousing Zuko from his sleep. His daemon perched on the windowsill, as far from him as she could get without hurting either of them, napping as well.

“Ha, ha, funny.”

“No, really, he is. I heard everything after you guys left.” Ihnatzius explained, his voice lacking his human’s glee and laced with worry instead. “The Fire Lord said Prince Ozai’s punishment should fit his crime.” He explained.

Four voices broke out at once as everyone fought to get a word in. Zuko was yelling at them to shut up and Hikari adamantly insisted that Father wouldn’t do that to them and Azula was taunting her brother and Ihnatzius urged them both to run away _now_ to the Earth Kingdom. None of them noticed the shadow of a woman and her cheetah cast over the doorway.

“What is going on here?” Ursa demanded.

“I don’t know.” Azula said, perhaps too sweetly, while her tabby made a bolt for it, only to be blocked by Takeo’s towering form in the doorway. 

“It’s time for a talk.” Their mother took Azula by the arm and lead her out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

After a while of being enclosed in darkness, Zuko spoke up to break the unrestful silence that had fallen between him and Hikari. “Azula always lies.” He offered.

“What about Iggy?” She whispered back. Out of the four of them, she was the only one who still used the nickname unironically and in an endearing way that made Zuko want to cradle her every time.

“Him, too. Like human, like daemon.” Zuko assured, though he didn’t sound too confident of that himself.

When he was woken up for the second time that night, it was his mother pulling him upright and into her embrace, urging him to _listen, please, everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you,_ though he couldn’t fathom what that could possibly mean. He was vaguely aware of Takeo licking Hikari fervently at the foot of the bed. And his mother was telling him to never forget who he was, and he wondered how he could ever forget something he’s never known in the first place, and Takeo was asking Hikari to take care of him and he wanted to protest that he didn’t need protection from a _little bird._

Clichéd as it sounds, when he woke up the next morning he really did wonder if it had all been a dream. But the Fire Lord was dead and Ozai was declared heir and _where was Uncle Iroh, anyway?_

And their mother was gone. And somehow, despite no one really understanding what was going on, (Azula likes to pretend she does, but Ihnatzius’s swaying tail said otherwise), Zuko had a feeling it was for good.

Hikari stayed as a cheetah that whole day, without prompting or needing an effort. When he went to sleep that night, she crawled under the sheets with him and he ran his palm over her lithe form and smooth fur, picturing gold and black spots in the darkness. He couldn’t pretend she was Takeo. She was smaller and _he could touch her_ so she couldn’t be Takeo. But as he felt her chest rise and fall against his nightshirt, he was closer to his mum somehow. As close to her as he could be without her really being here.

_And it’ll have to do_, he told himself, _because she never will be again._

When he woke up the next morning, Zuko found her tangled under the sheets with him, a cheetah still. It was the first time Hikari had made it through a night without shifting.


	3. Watching the Leaves

* * *

Sunsets, sunrises,  
Living the dream, watching the leaves  
Changing the seasons.  
Some nights I think of you,  
Reliving the past, wishing it'd last,  
Wishing and dreaming.

* * *

“I believe, father, that my daemon has settled.”

Ozai raised an eyebrow. The two children sat at opposite sides of the table with their father at the end. Since their mother’s disappearance, family dinner had become a rare occurrence and often not for the sake of unity or familiarity, but rather a reminder to the children that despite being Fire Lord now, their father was still keeping a close eye and tight leash on them.

He turned to face the child who had just spoken up.

“Enough with such nonsense, Azula. You are ten years old. Settling doesn’t occur until teenage years. Your elder brother’s daemon has not settled yet.” He reminded her sternly.

Despite the events that occurred the night after their mother left, it turns out that wasn’t the end as Zuko had thought. A couple days after the shock wore off, Hikari had lost her cheetah form and shrunk back into a parakeet when he failed to land a particularly tricky kata. At his sister’s announcement, his head whipped up in alarm. _Azula always lies_, he reminded himself, refusing to believe that his younger sibling had bested him in yet another aspect of their lives.

Azula shrugged, unfazed. “Ask Ihnatzius.”

Ozai made no move, but Thera stood up abruptly, starling Hikari, now a tawny owl, who had been desperately trying to remain inconspicuous behind the drapes in the dining room. Ihnatzius, however, sat still with confidence in the leopard form he favoured recently.

The larger leopard circled the smaller, measuring him up and down in proximity. After an eternity of silence, she trotted back to her human, nodding in satisfaction with what she found.

Ozai pursed his lips and peered curiously at his daughter’s daemon who now so closely resembled his own. 

“He’s… smaller than my Thera.” He drawled slowly, taking his time to make up his mind about the daemon’s choice of form. “But I suppose that comes with its merits. Agile, and swift. A fine form for Fire Nation royalty, an honourable choice. Well done, my daughter.”

At this conclusion, Thera approached Ihnatzius once more. She paused in front of the other leopard’s unwavering gaze for a moment, pondering. Then, her decision affirmed, she reached down towards Ihnatzius’s head, and _licked him_.

Azula and Zuko both froze. Though touching between daemons was perfectly normal, it was Ursa’s Takeo who was always grooming Hikari to sleep and picking up a feral Ihnatzius gingerly between her jaws. Just as Ozai himself had never touched his children, Thera had never touched either of them before.

“I suppose it is fitting that your daemon would settle so early, considering your start to firebending and rapidly progressing skills since.” Ozai continued in a pleased tone, more to himself now than for either of the children to hear. “Though I still have to verify with the fire sages, of course, but I’m largely positive you are the earliest to settle in the history of the palace.”

Zuko stared at the growing smirk on Azula’s face across the table, the seared elephant koi in his mouth tasting ashen and sour. What shame, he thought, to have his younger sister’s daemon, two years his junior, settle before his? Reasonably, he knew that at twelve years old, it is not only normal for his daemon to have not settled yet, but also extremely common. However, that doesn’t stop him from being acutely aware of her challenging stare, or his Hikari’s heartbeat nervous and quick behind the drapes.

“May I be excused, father?”He choked out. His father gave a curt nod, studying him closely. Zuko turned to walk out of the room.

“Zuko…” Ozai called behind him, voice eerily icy. Zuko stopped in his tracks as Hikari trotted as a Persian cat up to his heels, neither of them turning round to face the table again.

“Keep your daemon out of its… _inappropriate_ forms. You don’t want it to settle at the _wrong_ moment.”

“Yes, father.” His voice came as barely a whisper. Zuko hurried out of the room, not wanting the sneering gaze of Azula to linger on his back of a moment longer.

* * *

“Let me in!” Zuko stood at the door of the war room, Hikari as a small, tawny wolf beside him in a fighting stance, baring her teeth against the black dog daemons of the guards.

The hand on his shoulder startled him. Concentrated in his campaign to be let in to the meeting,Zuko had missed General Iroh walking down the corridor, his breath hitching when he noticed the wolf daemon before de did his nephew, and his own lioness stopping in her tracks and cringing with grief. The pair quickly composed themselves upon hearing the young prince’s voice, and hurried towards the scene.

“Prince Zuko. What’s wrong?”

“I want to go into the war chamber, but the guards wont let me pass!”

"You're not missing anything, trust me. These meetings are dreadfully boring.” Iroh coaxed, leading Zuko away from the door. His lioness nudged a growling Hikari in a way that would seem awfully experienced to a keen eye paying attention. However, in this instance, no one was.

“If I'm going to rule this nation one day, don't you think I need to start learning as much as I can?” Zuko argued, clearly not ready to give up so easily. Iroh contemplated for a while, before deciding that it can’t do much harm, and relented.

“Very well. But you must promise not to speak. These old folks are a bit sensitive, you know?”

They walked side by side into the war room. In an attempt to show he planned to keep his end of the bargain, Zuko extended a hand to call his daemon onto his arm in the form of a hummingbird. Neither boy nor daemon caught the glance exchanged between Iroh and his Hui Xin, not quite able to make up their minds about whether they were relieved or pained by the absence of the beautiful she-wolf that had been at their side.

* * *

“You can't sacrifice an entire division like that! Those soldiers love and defend our nation! How can you betray them?”

He’d regretted the words as soon as they’d been spoken. He had broken his promise to Uncle by speaking out and drawing attention to himself, and he knew he had shown himself to be an immature kid who could not face the reality of war, shaming both him and his father.

But in his haze, he noticed the military leaders who had been shocked into silence gazed not entirely at him. He followed their vision to see his daemon, and his eyes widened in wonder. Hikari, who had sprung to her feet along with him, was currently a fully fledged jaguar, pressing his forehead against the official’s daemon, teeth bared and feet planted.

Zuko stared in awe of his Hikari, who had a soft voice and cheerful chirp, who always fluttered her wings in tentative uncertainty, who turned herself into a butterfly once and got stuck, scaring the palace servants into thinking Zuko had lost his soul for a good three days, was now stretched a good deal longer than a metre, stout and muscular, growling with a ferocity unlike any shrill whining Zuko had ever heard from her.

He felt that surge of pride again. That feeling when his mother described the dense black stars etched across milky golden fluff in the weeks following his birth, and telling him that this is how she knew he was destined for something great. As Hikari took on a form she had never returned to since that one time, Zuko found himself convinced that he truly believed he was right, and if he had to take the fall for it, so be it.

* * *

He did take the fall for it. 

Ozai yelled at him for going behind his back to enter a meeting, for making a spectacle of himself. Thera glowered at Zuko and Hikari, both shrunken against the floorboard, the latter curled up as a house sparrow against her human.

“Where’s you jaguar now?” She sneered, and Zuko could only gape.

_Thera never spoke._ It was one of the most unsettling dynamics about the relationship between his father and his daemon. Ozai was the one who scolded, spat, and screamed, while Thera sat at his side, at most a twitching ear or piercing stare, observing, calculating. She didn’t comment or chime in, and she certainly didn’t _taunt_ like that.

To Zuko, her jab was far more terrifying than any volume Ozai could throw at him. If his aggravation can prompt Thera’s cold, silky voice to manifest itself…

It meant father must have been truly mad.

* * *

The day of the Agni Kai, he knelt before his father and begged for forgiveness, and was told that he will _learn respect and that suffering will be his teacher_, despite his protests that he had only wanted the best for his nation, that he was his father’s loyal servant, _that he loved him_.

There was a hand on his face and he was blinded by light and agony and _was that him screaming because it didn’t feel like he was screaming but then again he couldn’t feel his throat or anything other than his face for that matter._

And then the hand was off him. Barely conscious, he saw the blurred outline of a brown and white shepherd dog launching itself at Ozai, barking and screaming an amalgamation of animal sounds and human words. Hikari.

Zuko wanted to call to her and tell her _to don’t touch him_ and _run_, but his brain was roaring with pain and his muscles weak. He watched helplessly as Hikari snapped and bit at Ozai, being roughly shoved off by the latter. Then, his father’s hands were suddenly around the dog’s throat, who let out a desperate mewl as the human made contact with another’s daemon to the collective gasp of the entire audience.

This, Zuko decided, was a different kind of pain than the searing of flames against his face. It was nauseating and dizzying more than anything he felt in his life as he struggled to open his good eye to see Ozai holding Hikari, kicking and writhing, at arm’s length, and he felt so _violated_ and so, _so wrong. _He clawed at the nonexistent pressure around his own neck and his mind was howling silently.

“Kari, Kari, _Kari_…” Over and over.

Eventually, the blissful abyss encased him as he collapsed on the duelling court floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behind the Names:  
Iroh's daemon is a white Transvaal lioness named Hui Xin (慧馨, hoo-ay shin), meaning "Wise nurturing" or "wise warmth" in Mandarin  
Lu Ten's daemon was a Mexican wolf, the same form Hikari took against the guards when they were trying to get into the war meeting.


	4. The Shadow Cast is Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Iroh/Zuko bonding and Iroh wisdom, lots of angst :0 I had a lot of fun writing this and Zuko's conflict with his daemon in his exile years serves as a great metaphor for his struggle to accept himself and find who he really is. 
> 
> If you enjoyed the story up until now please consider dropping a comment! I would love to hear from you and feel encouraged :D

* * *

When the moon is looking down,  
Shining light upon your ground,  
I'm flying up to let you see  
That the shadow cast is me.

* * *

Zuko woke up in a swaying room, to the sound of water crashing and wind whistling in the corridor. As he struggled to sit up, Hui Xin, who had been laying on the floor beside the bed, stood up and stretched.

“Oh good, you’re up.” Said the white lioness, not unkindly, “I’ll fetch Iroh.”

“Where… am I?” He croaked.

“You’re on a ship, we’re sailing away from Fire Nation waters.”

“Ship?” Everything that had happed at the Agni Kai came back to Zuko bit by bit, and he became acutely aware of the bandage that covered half his face.

“How long was I out? How bad is it? Why are we leaving the Fire Nation? Where are we going?” He asked, bombarding Hui Xin with questions. The large cat sighed and blinked slowly, not quite looking up to meet his gaze.

“Three days. Your father banished you after the duel and stripped you of your birthright, you are not allowed to return to the Fire Nation without the Avatar in chains. As for your face… the healer did what they can but… look, kid, Iroh will probably be more helpful than I right now, let me go fetch him, okay? Sit tight.”

As soon as Hui Xin padded out of the room, Zuko swung his leg off the edge of the bed. Locating a mirror across the room, he staggered towards it. There, he gazed into the white cotton bandage covering half his face, and ripped the tape with perhaps more roughness than he should have, confronting what laid beneath.

The smooth skin around his left eye had been replaced with a huge patch of blisters and a large raw mark. The eye itself was forced into a narrow slit, amber pupils barely peeking through the permanent squint. The wound was still fresh and the blisters will heal, eventually, but it was clear that the scar was there to stay.

He clutched the side of the table, nails digging into the hard wood and was dangerously close to hyperventilating when a soft voice piped up from across the room.

“Zuko…”

“Kari!” Zuko reeled around, scanning the dimly lit room for his daemon, “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Did father —“

His voice came to an abrupt halt when his eyes fell on a small bird perched on the sword rack. In the orange fire light, Zuko could make out her tawny feathered back and white breast and the streak of gold against the black on her wings, but what had caught his attention was the dark red marking across her face, encasing both eyes, and wrapping around her beak.

“Is this some kind of a sick joke?” He demanded, flaming anger boiling inside him.

“I’m a goldfinch.” Hikari whispered.

“No, I am aware! Ty Lee’s daemon took this form a couple times. But do you have to mock me like this? Has everyone not been cruel enough already? Even you, Kari?” Zuko could feel hot tears pressing against the backs of both his good and bad eye now. Taking a moment draw a breath and harden his voice, Zuko addressed his daemon once more. “Change into something - anything - else at once.”

“No, Zuko.” Hikari said sadly, voice getting impossibly fainter, “_I’m a goldfinch._ I’ve settled.”

His mind crashed in a thunderous roar and his knees almost gave out. _No_, he thought, mortified, _this can’t be happening._ Strangely enough, the biggest worry on his mind was _what will father think? _when he pictured himself sitting behind the blaze of the throne room, Fire Lord headpiece in his top know, and a bird of barely a couple centimetres perched on his shoulder. He had to remind himself of what Hui Xin had informed him - the only chance of that particular scenario rested on impossibly finding someone who has evaded capture for a century now.

“Impossible” He hissed. “Change. Shift. _Now._”

“I _can’t_.” His daemon defended herself, distressed and impatient. “I’ve been trying ever since we woke up. I can feel it, I’m locked. _This is it_, Zuko.”

It was ironic that ever since his sister’s daemon had settled just under a year ago, Zuko had been desperate for Hikari to find her fixed form. He’d gone to bed every night praying to Agni that he would wake up to a caracal or panther or mountain lion or cheetah sitting gracefully at the foot of his bed saying those words, _this is it. _He couldn’t wait to catch up with Azula and make his father proud.

But not this, not like this. Now, all he wanted is for it to be _not yet not yet not yet. _But Hikari was right, he realised with increasing nausea, he could feel it too.

“And how do you think I’m supposed to live with this… this pathetic little thing?” He spat at his own daemon. “That couldn’t hold its own in a battle against even the most inexperienced enemy? That is shameful and weak and a disappointment? How are you supposed to let me show my face in the palace ever again with a good for nothing_ songbird_?”

“Zuko!” Hikari pleaded, flapping her wings now. If daemons could cry, Hikari would probably be doing that now, or at least close. But Zuko couldn’t bring himself to care. All he can think of is how _he couldn’t live like this._

“Change!” He all but roared at her.

“I can’t!”

“Change!”

“You think I don’t want to? You think I don’t want to be big and strong so I can protect you? You think I don’t want to be a common Fire Nation daemon so you can accept me by your side with pride? Believe me, Zuko, I want nothing more than that. But this is all you get.” Hikari fluttered onto his shoulder and rubbed her head against his neck. “I’m your daemon. I _am_ you. If you can’t take me for who I am, you won’t be able to accept yourself.”

A sob bubbled its way to Zuko’s throat, a heave rose in his chest, and he swatted Hikari away roughly. When his uncle showed up at the doorway of his room, Hui Xin in tow, he found his nephew in a heap on the floor, body wracked with whimpers and tears.

“Oh, Zuko.” The old man soothed, drawing him into an embrace. The lioness scoured the room for Hikari, failing to spot her huddled behind a drawer, trying her hardest to curl in on herself and disappear.

* * *

At least when it came to tacking an airbender Avatar among temples only accessible by flight, there are worse forms for a daemon to have than bird. Not that this gave them any luck as search after search turned out futile.

They barely spoke these days, barely even acknowledged the other’s presence outside of the necessary exchange of scouting interaction. Their daily routine involved Zuko stomping around being generally difficult to everyone and Hikari trailing behind him miserably. Hui Xin hung out with her in the afternoons of sailing across unknown waters, reminding her of the times spent with Takeo when she was younger. But still, it was a pale replacement for her human.

The separation came unintentionally. Hikari had been circling in one of the temples, looking for any valuable signs and clues, when she looked up suddenly and realised that she had lost Zuko in her concentration on the task. She flew around in different directions, hoping for that familiar tug or sharp pain that would inform her of where her human was, but felt nothing.

She was just about to panic when the sound of her human calling her came in the distance, her full name harsh and almost grating against his tongue. He doesn’t call her_ Kari anymore._

“Where were you?” He asked her when she followed the sound of his voice to him.

“Wandered off, looking.” She mumbled.

“I couldn’t see you.” Zuko’s voice was almost soft, “I… didn’t feel a thing.”

“Me neither. We must have separated.”

“But we didn’t even need to train.”

“Maybe we’re naturals.” Hikari snapped, causing Zuko to blanch. They both knew this was a lie, of course, remembering the last time they tried and how they couldn't make it more than three metres apart, and how at ten years old Zuko had tearfully promised that they’ll never be apart again, cradling the little creature - a bird then, too - against himself.

Hikari didn’t like to think about life back in the palace. Truth be told, she didn’t miss Ozai scolding her forms and asking _why couldn’t she be more like Ihnatzius, appropriate for Fire Nation royalties? _She didn’t miss the tabby pouncing mercilessly on her in every “innocent” game of wrestling and how she was always made to be the prey when they played hunt because _she liked being birds already, anyway. _She didn’t miss him batting at her under the table during family dinners, trying, and often times succeeding, to make her lose concentration on her cat form and embarrass herself as a startled pigeon in front of Ozai and Thera, ever since he noticed her unfortunate tendency to be jittery around them.

But she did miss Takeo, with his low chuckles and doting gaze and endless patience. She missed Ursa and how she made Zuko felt so loved and warm and safe that through their connection, she could feel it too. She missed Zuko asking her to shift into a soft chinchilla during midnight summer storms, burying his nose in her dense, cloudy fur. She missed the turtleduck pond and swimming as a duck among the creatures, and once even trying out a fish form in the water. She missed Surudoi and Mai and Rosalija and Ty Lee, playing with her and Zuko until all six of them were giggling themselves breathless.

She missed Zuko’s laughter.

But everything she missed weren’t at the palace anymore, so she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go back. But Zuko does. Going back was all he wanted these days. So Hikari didn’t like to think about those memories, it distracted her from getting her human home. She didn’t question or complain or speak unless spoken to and put double, triple the effort into finding the avatar - _almost _as much as Zuko did.

Maybe when they went home, she’ll at least get her human back.

* * *

“Look at you, all grown up. Does your father know you daemon finally settled?” 

Zuko sat opposite Zhao, fist clenched. On the armrest of his chair, Hikari flapped her wings indignantly. They had been forced to dock for repairs when the_ Avatar_ destroyed half their ship. Still, they were closer than they had been in years and now the possibility of going home was more than just a fantasy and neither of them dared to ponder what that meant for them.

“He will, when I capture the Avatar and bring him back to the capital.” Hikari wasn’t sure if Zuko had thought that a good or a bad thing.

“You seem awfully sure that would happen, does that mean you know anything of their whereabouts already?”

“No.” Zuko said too quickly, the black panther at Zhao’s feet narrowed her eyes at Hikari, searching for signs of dishonesty. The goldfinch tried her best to remain still and impassive, determined to not fail her human. “I just believe I will one day, if I kept trying.”

In the end, the crew gave them away after all, and Zuko found himself in the second Agni Kai of his life, and winning by a narrow margin. Just as they turned their backs to leave for their own ship, however, Zhao’s panther lunged at Hikari with a pounce.

Before anyone else reacted, it was Hui Xin who intercepted the other animal mid-air, lioness pinning panther to the floor of the ship. Zuko raised a flamed fist at Zhao, who was already struggling for breath along with his daemon, only to be stopped by Iroh.

“No, Prince Zuko. Do not taint your victory.” He cautioned.

“So this is how the daemon of the great Commander Zhao acts in defeat? Disgraceful.” Hui Xin sneered down at the black feline whose windpipe was under both her paws. Even in exile, Zuko and Hikari are more honourable than you.”

Iroh pointedly ignored his daemon, bowing to a purplish Zhao, “Thanks again for the tea. It was delicious.” Though when he beckoned to his lioness to join him, Zuko caught him patting her lightly on the head.

Later when Zuko had fallen asleep, Hikari snuck into Iroh’s chambers and settled on the lioness’s head. “Did you really mean what you said?” She asked hopefully, “You think I’m honourable?”

“Of course.” Hui Xin replied fiercely, “a daemons’s size and power are not all that matters. In fact, it is among the least important factors in determining a person honour or worth. You heart, Kari, is bigger than any lion or leopard, and if Zuko fails to see that, then he is a fool.”

* * *

Zuko leaned against the railing of the ship, the fresh sea wind blowing on his face, spraying salt droplets into the burn scar which bloomed across his eye and cheek. It was a beautiful day out, though he was in no mood to mind of that. He had thought that finding the Avatar was the most challenging task in stow for him, and that once he’d located child, capturing and returning him would come easily. Much to his dismay, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Where is young Hikari?” Came his uncle’s voice as the old man joined him at the hull of the ship.

“She’s tailing the Avatar’s bison.” He replied flatly, pointing up into the clouds. Since discovering she was able to go further from him, he had sent her out on scouting missions with increasing frequency. Now, she could easily put enough distance between them to be taken as a normal animal and not someone’s daemon, feeling only a faint tug and some resistance in moving forward when she got too far, but never pain anymore.

“That’s awfully far from you, nephew. I didn’t notice you training in separation.”

“We didn’t on purpose. It just happened.”

“Hmm.” Iroh pondered. “People less emotionally attached to their daemons will often find that they are able to naturally put more distance between each other. I wonder if this has anything to do with your rejection of her form ever since she settled. Be careful, nephew, as much as separation can be an advantage, it can be dangerous to overdo it. You risk severing the bond completely.”

Zuko only grunted.

“Do you remember the day you tried to enter the war meeting?” Seeing that this finally perked the teenager’s attention, Iroh pressed on in a gentler tone. “Hikari had taken the form of a light brown wolf, a form I thought I’d never see again.

“Lu Ten hadn’t been happy when his Meng’ao settled into the exact same she-wolf. Though I told him how beautiful his daemon was, he had been hung up on not being a large cat like the rest of the royal family for a long time. Eventually though, he found leadership, courage, and loyalty in his companion, and they went on to accomplish great feats side by side.”

Zuko said nothing for a long time, uncle and nephew sailing forward on the wide ocean stretching in every direction. Just as Iroh was beginning to hope he’d finally gotten through to the boy for once, however, he spoke up, voice dry and dismissive.

“That’s different. Meng’ao had been different, but she could still fight. She was still strong and feared and respected. My cousin wasn’t stuck with something utterly _useless_ like I am.”

Iroh sighed.

“When I look at Hikari,” he offered, placing a hand on Zuko’s shoulder, “I don’t see useless or weak. I see freedom. I see a strength to fly high above your past and your pain, to a brighter tomorrow where you are allowed to be who you are without shame.

"I see bravery. I see someone who had every reason to be broken and dejected finding it in them to soar, because they dared to put faith in the joy that await them in the future they were reaching towards.

"I see _honour_. I see a mark placed on them in their greatest moment of shame, borne in pride and beauty by letting experience shape, guide and teach, instead of paralyse.

"The world has been at war for a hundred years. Generations have known nothing but destruction. This nation doesn’t need another soldier or another large feline daemon. I truly believe that it is Hikari and the love and peace she represents that will do right by us all. But only by your side where she belongs, Zuko. Only if you let her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behind the names:  
Zuko's daemon settled as a European goldfinch! If you look up pictures you will see its red face markings to match Zuko's own scar :)  
Mai's daemon is called Surudoi (soo-roo-doy), the Japanese word for "sharp" (because knives)  
Ty Lee's daemon is Rosalija (roe-za-lee-ja), a variation of the name "Rosalia" found in Lithuania and Czechoslovakia. He is a male, I just kind of forgot about the opposite gender thing when I named him, grew attached to the name, and thought "hey why can't a guy have a. feminine name?) So.  
Lu Ten's daemon 梦翱 (Meng'ao) is Mandarin for "soaring dream"  
Zhao's daemon is a melanistic cougar, one of the few species whose black morphs are known as "black panthers"


	5. Hope to See You Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains spoilers and heavy references to the ATLA graphic novel series The Search, if you haven't read that particular comic, you may have troubles keeping up (though you're welcomed to try). You can read the comic safe and for free at readcomiconline.to

* * *

I know that birds fly in different directions.  
I hope to see you again.  
Birds fly in different directions,  
So fly high, so fly high.

* * *

Zuko sat on the floor of the small cottage, opposite his sister. A little girl stood in between them with her daemon shifting every few seconds into the most impressive forms he could think of. Azula glared and rolled her eyes, while Zuko himself let out whoops and gasps of appreciation, much to the pleasure of the little girl.

“That’s great! I forgot how much I missed it when my Kari could still shift.” He offered, while the daemon in question beat her wings in agreement.

“What were her favourite forms?” The younger demon piped.

“She always favoured birds, never the finch before settling though. She gave just about everything a shot. She was even a fish once!”

“I think she’s cute like this! And pretty!” The little girl squealed, making a grab for the goldfinch perched on Zuko’s shoulder. Hikari gave a startled cry and took to the air, just as the girl’s father stepped through the doorway to witness the commotion.

“Kiyi!” He scolded, appalled, “you must never touch another’s daemon without asking first!”

“Sorry.” Kiyi turned to Zuko and said sheepishly.

Azula sighed dramatically and drawled, “I never really saw the _point _of shifting daemons, anyways.” She declared. “You decide a form that’s most beneficial and advantageous, and stuck with it. What’s so hard about that? Mine was never anything other than cats.” She stated with a tinge of pride, while her Ihnatzius purred softly from the floor.

“That sounds awfully boring.” Kiyi decided, making Zuko chuckle. If Azula reacted to the comment at all, she didn’t let it show.

“Do you remember, Zuzu?” She teased, “How much trouble he used to give _your _daemon when we were kids? He would always hunt Hikari down and make her jump! We made a game out of it, you know, guessing which bird she’ll turn into when he scared her into shifting. She never disappointed.”

Off in the other side of the room, Aang and Katara were talking quietly with Noren and Noriko, blushing profusely from time to time, and other times giggling. Noriko’s swan daemon was curled by her lap, neck bent and beak tucked into his wings, dosing. He reminded Zuko painfully of Takeo, and how, as his mother recalled, he had always preferred the swan form before settling.

Mags, Katara’s white fox, strolled up to Zuko. 

“There’s something wrong about these people’s daemons.” He informed him in a low voice. “They feel… almost new. The swan is more obvious, but Noren’s boar is a lot younger than he looks as well.”

Zuko furrowed his brow. “That’s impossible. Are you sure you aren’t imagining it?”

“Rikki feels it too.” Stated the fox, referring to Sokka’s daemon.

“Maybe it’s because they are from a small village? They must have been pretty sheltered all their lives.”

“Maybe.” Mags mused, not fully convinced.

* * *

They bid the family goodbye that night, Kiyi’s daemon mimicking Hikari as a goldfinch when she hugged Zuko and asked him to come back and visit, and set off for the Forgetful Valley.

There were faces everywhere. On the backs of flutterbats and grown into the trunks of trees. Aang’s face contorted uncomfortably the further they journeyed into the jungle-like woods, and the fur on Mags’s back flared and puffed.

They met a woman with a beaver daemon and her brother, who had no face and no daemon save an inky black _blob_ hovering beside his blank head. They learnt of their horrific story about Koh the face stealer, who took more than just a person’s eyes, nose, and lips, but the very essence of their being and all that it meant for them to be alive, and not leaving them quite dead when he was finished, either.

They learnt about Koh’s mother, who forged for the first humans the bonds they shared with their spirits, and gifted them the purest companion in the form of an animal. Centuries after centuries, these humans she poured her heart and essence into came to her, begging for favours. Her patience worn thin by people unhappy with the forms their demons took, she glanced at the group and assumed they had accompanied Zuko here to erase that scar and change his meek goldfinch into a mighty lion.

Zuko laughed at how his thirteen-year-old self would have _killed_ for this opportunity, and told the Mother of Faces that Hikari was and always would be _his_, and the scar reminded him of the future of his country he fought for every single day.

They learnt of Ikem, who knew since the age of six the only woman he will ever love, and how bloodline and politics drove a chasm between them permanently. They learnt of Ursa, pained by her devotion to protect her children and running from a past she dared not remember, so desperate to be free of sorrow she traded her gorgeous face for one as plain as can be, and how the Mother of Faces took pity on her, and gave her the graceful swan her Takeo had always longed to be.

In flashes of lightning and licks of flame, Azula ran from the burning house where Noren and Noriko - no, _Ikem and Ursa_ \- lived, her Ihnatzius not so golden anymore in the night’s shadow, tail stiff between his legs, following at her heels.

In a blinding jet of illumination, the swan faded and Zuko saw the lean cheetah he thought he’d never see again.

* * *

Ursa cupped her son’s face gently and ran a thumb across the jagged scar, her heart going through a myriad of emotions, breaking with sadness for what her children were forced to go through and bursting with joy of having been found again.

“He did this to you, didn’t he?” She asked, angry, heartbroken, horrified. Zuko chuckled dryly.

“This wasn’t the worst thing that he did to me that day. In the fight, Ozai, he… he _touched_ Kari.”

“Oh, Zuko.” Ursa whispered.

“At least I now know why.” Zuko said firmly, pressing the letter Azula left behind into his mother’s hands. “Why he’s always been so harsh to me.”

“Yes and no.” Ursa sighed, recognising her own writing as soon as she opened the folded paper, “What I wrote here… isn’t true. I wanted to find out if he’d been intercepting my letters home, and shock him into confronting me about it. I lied in the letter, Zuko. You are not Ikem’s son, you are Ozai’s. However, I told him in the heat of the argument that I wished you weren’t. All these years, this has been why - he was so horrible to you to get back at me.”

Zuko felt it all crashing down on him then. Though knowing all along it was too good to be true, having the small sense of freedom and epiphany given to him by finding out his real heritage ripped away like this has still been hard to accept. Still, this had meant his claim to the throne was still legitimate. Hadn’t he always said this was his true destiny?

“I feel like things are the way they’re meant to be.” He decided.

The incessant chirping of Hikari about their adventures to Takeo in the background had ceased as the pair approached their humans. Ursa and Zuko both turned to see them walking up, Hikari stretching her wings happily.

“Hello, Ursa.” She greeted. Ursa crouched down to put herself at eye level with the small bird currently standing on top of Takeo’s head.

“Hello, Kari. It’s been a long time.”

“Yeah…” Hikari chuckled nervously, somewhat apologetic. “So I didn’t end up a cheetah like you.”

“I always thought you wouldn’t.” Ursa said warmly, “but I meant it when I said that no matter who you turned out to be, I will always be proud. And you are beautiful. Just like my son. When did you settle in the end?”

“Right after I was banished. I woke up on the ship to her like this.” Zuko filled in.

“That must have gone down well.” Looking at the red markings across her face to match Zuko’s own, Ursa pointed somewhat sarcastically.

“Yeah…” Zuko answered, bowing his head in shame. “I spent a long time distancing myself from her. Far too long. Even uncle’s endless wisdom couldn’t convince me to see how rejecting her was hurting both her and myself more than what is healthy. Eventually, though, we pulled through. I wouldn’t trade her for all the forms in the world now.”

He looked up at his mother - older, and more worn, but still the mum he remembered and longed for in all these years - and smiled.

“I broke my promise to you, mum. I forgot who I was. But eventually, I found it again.”

“I really am proud of you, Zuko.” Ursa repeated, “Even though I may not have a right to be, all things considered.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true, I _forgot_ you and Azula. What kind of a mother chooses to forget her own children?”

“You chose to protect yourself when it mattered.” Zuko argued fiercely, pulling his mother into a tight embrace, “So that you may live to return to us another day.”

She looked up then at him, Fire Lord headpiece in place, but a teenager still, and listened to the joyed yelps of Hikari in the distance, pumping her wings and summersaulting in circles through the air as Takeo watched on proudly. Thing weren’t ideal, she thought, with the reminisces of flames yet to be put out across the world and Azula lost in more ways than one, but at the end of the day, at least they were okay.

“There’s so much I want to tell you. About your father, about Ikem, about my life here in Hira’a.”

“I want to know everything from the beginning.”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“For you, my dear, I’ll start from the beginning…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! And we are done! If you're reading this thanks so much for sticking with this story until the end and hope you enjoyed it. please leave a comment if you have the time to let me know :)
> 
> Ikem's daemon is a boar, which symbolises the power of the sun and the strength of fire. It is the most common Fire Nation daemon form outside the palace and military.  
Misu's daemon is a beaver, which symbolises the protection and devotion she shows towards her brother.  
You will find out more about Katara, Sokka, and the rest of the Gaang's daemons in stories to come. Be sure to follow the series to not miss more stories within this AU! (I'm starting to sound like a YouTuber oops)


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